It's Been a While...on Purpose
It's been a while since I have posted and there's a reason for my absence.
I was having coffee with my precious friend today and she said, "Hey! I've been thinking! Where's your blog been lately? You haven't posted..." There it was again. The second time within a week that a friend "happened" to ask me about the blog. I'm going to go ahead and tell yall now, I don't believe things just "happen". I don't believe people in my inner circle "happen" to mention things. Especially if I know the Lord has been gently nudging me about a certain subject.
I haven't posted a while because quite honestly, I'm still struggling. I am being called out of my comfort zone and it is HARD!!! When my friend asked me about the blog, I teared up. I teared up because I know I have been asked to share what's on my heart, but if you know me, I mean REALLY know me, you know that I tend to draw back. There it is again--- "me"---this isn't about me. None of it. Never has been (but it still doesn't make stepping out of the boat any easier).
Recently I have started a new endeavor. God has presented an opportunity for me to help our family earn a little extra income to help pay off some debt. This new endeavor is in direct sales. SALES!!! I just completed my 20th year in education!!!! SALES-- HE HAS CALLED ME TO SALES!!! I can get in front of 25 children and put on a show all day long. That's easy! But to stand in front of my peers or reach out to someone?!? Now THAT is just a whole new ballgame.
The first month of my new endeavor has yielded great things! Things have gone off without a hitch and I feel like it's going smoothly. I was even in top sales for the month of May--amazing accomplishment! I honestly had no idea--I'm just "minding my own business, doing my thing". God is good that way, isn't He? If we just stay the course, keep on the path He has given us, He provides the way. And while the month of May was awesome, I still battled that other voice. That one that tells me I'm not good enough? That people will make fun of me if I reach out to them? That voice that accuses and lies. I know you know the voice. We all battle it at some point or another. And here is where it gets raw for me.
With all of the noise and all of the hustle and bustle, God speaks. He says "Emily, stop striving."
gulp. I don't know what you're talking about!? I'm NOT striving! I'm trusting YOU!
"Emily. Stop. Striving."
Again. Huh? I'm NOT STRIVING!
"Emily, you don't have to do the work. It's in your WEAKNESS that I am made strong. When you strive, you deny Me the chance to be Me. Let Me be God."
Stopped. Me. In. My. Tracks, yall! When He spoke it was like it hit me straight in the heart. I was heartbroken in a sense. I have not meant to be striving in my own strength. How many times and things have I taken control? My family, work, my "ministry" (so to speak)--how often have I thought I was doing the right thing, but all the while I'm doing it in MY strength? Gut wrenching, I tell ya!
So this is why you haven't heard from me in a while. I have been working on getting my heart right. I love the Psalm "create in me a pure heart"--Yes, Lord! Create in me a pure heart! One that is pleasing in your sight. Clean out "me"! Take me out of the situation so that I only point to You! I only want people to see You, Jesus.
I encourage you today to take some time to get quiet with our Father. Ask Him to show you any areas that you may be taking the lead. I promise when we release those areas, He will blow you away. Fair warning: when we give it all to Him, He doesn't do things the way we think they need to be done. No my friend, I'm learning that His way is always best. I'm learning to grow, WAIT , and trust Him to guide the way. After all, He IS the WAY, the TRUTH, and the LIGHT (I challenge you to meditate on that for a bit).
Praying He touches you tonight
Signing off as "Still Striving Sally" (insert emoji covering her face here LOL)
Blessings!!!
